Thursday, May 29, 2008

Making it through your Custody Dispute

Custody cases devastate people.


Those who have been through a painful custody suit realize why these battles are associated with prohibitively high rates of both suicide and homicide.


Family court judges habitually live in fear of their lives, as fed up parents frequently blame them for tearing their family apart. More often though, a bad custody struggle leads to self-harm, particularly in the case of males, who tend to be the ones who often feel discriminated against by the family court system.


The best remedy for this strain, of course, is to stay away from going to court entirely. Try your hardest to reach an agreeable arrangement with your former spouse, without bringing in legal intermediaries.


Either way though, while your highest priority needs to be agreeing on a custody arrangement that is in the best interests of your children, your number two priority must be to handle the stress of the custody procedures without passing that pressure on to your child.


Avoid allowing your little ones to join you in any of your emotional difficulties that are connected with your family breakdown. This is especially damaging where a child is allowed to feel responsible for the failed marriage, or when one parent often plays the role of the "victim", leaving the children feeling that they need to do something to cure the situation!


Remember that your progeny loves you both, and it is not their fault that your connection did not work. They did not cause your relationship breakdown and they cannot fix it.


You must take the responsibility for this yourself, and if you need emotional support (as we all do) you need to ask for it from people your own age - siblings, parents or buddies - and not from your son or daughter.


The uncomplicated rule is this: do not chat to your progeny about your child custody case. If they ask you how it is developing, assure them that both dad and mom are both working hard to agree on an arrangement that is best for them (the child) and leave it there.
If your child won't let up on the questioning, it can be very difficult to shun going into details, but you must try hard to avoid sharing anger and frustration with your son or daughter, as you do not want your anguish to become their agony.


An expert family counsellor can be a treasured asset in these circumstances, for both parents and child. In some conditions, it may even be possible (and very worthwhile) for an expert counsellor to arbitrate discussion between a child and both separated parents. Do not try to do this though without help. The dynamics of such a discussion can be very difficult to control, and the stakes are just far too high if things go pear-shaped.


Custody law cases are difficult for everybody - children, parents and the public at large - and there is only ever one solid ground for entering into a custody battle in the first place: you are concerned for best interests of your children. If then you really are wanting to ensure the best interests of your little ones, be assured that it will never be in their best interests to embroil them in the pain of the custody battle.



For more information on Making it through your Custody Dispute:
http://www.texaschild-custody.com/custody-rights-of-grandparents.php

Dallas Law and Interstate Custody Cases

Often when a union is terminated, the first response of the parent leaving the family home is to relocate as far away from their former partner as possible. Aside from the affects this can have on your child's emotional stability, it can also affect the processes of filing a suit by raising issues of court jurisdiction.


In Texas, your choice of where you continue living is not only a private issue between you and your little ones. It is also very much a legal problem. When starting a child custody case, you first want to give notice to the other parent. Before filing a child custody lawsuit in Texas you need to find out whether the suit has been filed in the correct state and court. Texas has very specific laws to determine whether a custody dispute has been filed in the correct court.


It is worth keeping in mind, however, that all states in the United States are governed by the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA). This is a directive that determines which state can make custody pronouncements. It sets out the rules that establish which state can hear a custody action and avoids confusion, where two states could make custody verdicts involving the same child! Under this law, states must try to collaborate with one another and must affirm and enforce the custody orders of other states.


In the state of Texas, clashes arise when one parent does not live in Texas, or the child and other parent have vacated Texas. Whether they have moved to another state or another country it is managed in the same way.


Generally, the problem of which state has jurisdiction is decided upon by where the child (on the date of the commencement of the proceeding) lives, regardless of whether the family members may have afterward moved. This includes states of affairs where the child no longer lives in the state but the parents do.


Things are not always this clear-cut however. In some disputes, the court of the state where the child resides may decline to exercise their right of jurisdiction if it is determined that another state is a more appropriate environment.


Again, this reflects the best interest of the youngster, because often a child and their parent has a meaningful connection with a particular state, other than their mere physical presence, or were there is alarge amount of relevant evidence available in a particular state - evidence regarding the child's care, protection, training and personal the best relationships.


In other cases, the parent may have already been served the citation of the previous state and consented to it prior to moving interstate, allowing the original county to exercise it's jurisdiction over them.


Technically, jurisdiction of a child custody dispute can be fixed in Texas even if a party has never set up house in Texas! A party can be accountable to a state's jurisdiction if they had merely engaged in sexual activity in that state, and the child was conceived as a result of that single exploit!


Where one parent does reside in another state, the court can require them to appear before the court in person. This can be with or without the children. Where the parent in this state has physical custody of the child, the court can subpoena them to appear in person with the child.


The parent initiating the citation needs to be aware that if a non-resident-of-the-state parent is expected to be present at a child custody proceeding, the court may insist that the other parent to cover travel and accommodation expenses. The child however need not be with them.


Once it is worked through that jurisdiction is appropriate in Texas, when a party or the child resides out of state, then the proper county for the suit is determined by the general venue provisions, as previously set out above, concerning where most of the information concerning the case exists.


Otherwise, where a court in Texas has already made a child custody determination, it has exclusive continuing jurisdiction over that result unless or until it is worked out that the kids or parent's significant connection with that state no longer exists and that substantial evidence concerning the child's care, protection and training now is present in another state.


For more information on Dallas Law and Interstate Custody Rights:
http://www.texaschild-custody.com/my-custody-rights-if-i-leave-texas.php